After a really bad post-chemo week which included not being able to face the thought of food I have been grieving the loss of what was once an important part of my life – growing some of my own food, preparing and cooking meals and eating. I now have no appetite at all, I am never hungry no matter how long it is since I have eaten, and the mere smell of food cooking is enough to put me off the thought of eating anything. The smell of the neighbours’ BBQs has me relocating to another side of the house.
To try and stem the weight loss I make and sip smoothies on and off all day which I fortify with the nutritional supplement the oncologist prescribed for me.
Basically my entire gastrointestinal tract now feels hostile to me from my cracked lips right through to the other end!
It doesn’t help that any liquid or food I have is followed an hour or two later by a great deal of discomfort in my lower abdomen. The oncologist tells me this is most likely due to the presence of the cancer in my omentum. While the discomfort is something I can cope with most of the time, it sometimes crosses the threshold when accompanied by sharp pains which fortunately do not last long.
I have discontinued taking liquid paracetamol after realising that the short sharp stabs of pain disappeared after the second lot of chemo. As the pains I am currently experiencing are very irregular I am not prepared to be taking pain relief all the time, as it really isn’t necessary.
However, now that I have entered the phase of feeling better I have now made it my mission to try and find a solution to my aversion to food. My willingness to continue with the chemotherapy regime I have chosen depends on it.